Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize