Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
