So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how drunk are you?
Several
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
