the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
