And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
