She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
