He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
