I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize