Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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