is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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