woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
