My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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