so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize