He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
