I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
