That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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