nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
time to smoke my breakfast
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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