Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
