dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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