I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
