I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
