Just fell off a train. Bad.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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