im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
