He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
