remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
