Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize