Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
