I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
