Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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