I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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