our cab driver is having phone sex.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
