Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
