Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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