She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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