I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
