if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
