Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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