why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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