Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
