I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that sheโs hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize