Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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