apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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