So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
