are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
...so i touched it.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
