You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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