he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We smell like vodka and hangover
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