I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
