yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
