I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
