I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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