That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
