Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
