I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
