life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
