Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
