? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
