What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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