Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize