I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
