Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
