I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
