One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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