you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
